A Few Things You Need to Know About Your Strengths
Whenever I begin coaching a client, I spend time trying to learn as much as I can about them. I try to understand the gap between who they are and what they do now and who they want to be and what they want to do in the future.
One way I dig in is to ask my clients about their strengths and weaknesses. I do this for two reasons: to see which they can naturally describe to me (strengths or weaknesses) and to see how accurate they are when they take a strengths assessment -- how self-aware is my client?
More times than not, my clients are able to describe their weaknesses in more detail and have to pause and think about their strengths, only coming up with maybe two or three strengths because I push for an answer. I used to be surprised at the fact that they could describe their weaknesses in a lot of detail yet not be familiar with their giftings. But now I expect it.
The definition of a strength is “anything that produces near-perfect performance consistently and effortlessly in a given activity.” So what that means is any activity that drains, even if done well, is not a strength. The test is whether a person experiences an intrinsic satisfaction or joy while doing the activity. “Consistently” and “effortlessly” are key words when it comes to strengths.
Strengths are things you can do naturally, they happen consistently, and they are effortless.
They are not going to be things that make you feel drained every time you do them. You may have practiced a skill enough that you have the "natural" or "consistent" part down, but in the end, there is no intrinsic satisfaction. That probably means it's not a strength.
I share this because understanding these details helps you uncover your true strengths.
It's scientifically proven that when you know and you use your strengths, you become overall more fulfilled in every part of your life. Typically when we are feeling stuck or frustrated it can be as simple as reaching into our strengths toolbelt. Once you know your strengths, it's like having access to a toolbelt where you can pull out those strengths at different times and use them effectively to increase your chances of success.
We all have weaknesses, but we must learn to spend time fostering our strengths rather than amplifying our weaknesses.
Maybe you have a weakness in a relationship and you've been spending all your time trying to become someone you're not. I challenge you to explore your strengths and come at that relationship from a place that celebrates where you're strong and, in turn, manage those places where you are weak.
Maybe you feel burdened or stuck at work. I challenge you to explore your strengths and find ways to use your strengths at work whenever possible. It's not going to change your job title, your pay, or your responsibilities, but it will add to your fulfillment that you weren't experiencing otherwise.
From the book “Fit Matters: How to Love Your Job,” there is a quote that says, "Give yourself the green light to look at your superpowers with fresh eyes and an open heart. Resist your natural sense of humility that tells you to hide your light under a bushel. Deep and real self-awareness looks good on you. It will look so good on you to be self-aware and to know that is to know your strengths and to use them.”
Now is the time to identify your strengths and find ways to honor them in your everyday life. Whenever you feel stuck, think about what strengths are not being honored. Think about areas in your life that are making you feel stuck. Pull a strength out of that toolbelt to help you find the solution, and whenever you feel unfulfilled, work from a place of strength.
